tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28487157251467350972024-03-14T07:58:48.785-07:00The Survivalist's Guide To LifeRandom thoughts and ramblings to help get your through your day.Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-82360408495907662902010-03-10T11:10:00.000-08:002010-03-10T11:10:46.322-08:00War Games - So Underrated! (RatedWrong.com)<a href="http://www.ratedwrong.com/home/2010/3/10/war-games-global-thermo-nuclear-war-aint-what-it-used-to-be.html">War Games - So Underrated! (RatedWrong.com)</a>: "Funny post about the 80s movie War Games with Matthew Broderick by K.H. MacLean"Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-7005420865418355602010-03-04T20:51:00.000-08:002010-03-04T20:52:55.970-08:00Still SucksBill Maher is still and prick, but he did just write a pretty funny article on variety: check it...<a href="http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118016081.html?categoryid=13&cs=1&ref=verttv&ref=ssp">Here</a>Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-50860180401689049852010-03-01T17:12:00.000-08:002010-03-01T19:16:47.487-08:00Why Bill Maher BlowsBill Maher is a smug, arrogant, douche rag. I don't think I'm saying anything new or earth-shaking. In fact, if that's all I was gonna go on about in this post, I don't think it would be all that interesting. What interests me, is <span style="font-style:italic;">why</span> Bill Maher is a douche rag.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_B5Y2LEzPfpjU0aAIMBTu2uc4Ihv6N4x2wZees8a5ujmmRcCftdxEK2KKOXnBdWtaLTDkWXr7zhyphenhyphen7rHDDGYCQXWPeuSTCRoyAzm7-6Ny4p5oq1x3_wTP90fCIWooryQ3YckOAs4HkyUfs/s1600-h/BillMaher.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 204px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_B5Y2LEzPfpjU0aAIMBTu2uc4Ihv6N4x2wZees8a5ujmmRcCftdxEK2KKOXnBdWtaLTDkWXr7zhyphenhyphen7rHDDGYCQXWPeuSTCRoyAzm7-6Ny4p5oq1x3_wTP90fCIWooryQ3YckOAs4HkyUfs/s320/BillMaher.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5443868582540828354" />If you believe in a organized religion you are insane. -Bill Maher paraphrased.</a><br /><br />Now, if you know me (and if you are reading this right now there is an excellent chance that is the case), you know that my main beef with Mr. Maher comes from his attitude towards religion. I'll get to that a further on down but first I just want to explore the sort of climate Maher creates.<br /><br />That, of course, is the climate of the ignorant, educated liberal.<br /><br />Bill Maher loves to talk. I've got nothing against that, I love to talk as well. But I at least try to talk about things that I understand when I do it, especially when it comes to things as complicated as politics and religion, two of Maher's favorite topics.<br /><br />But Maher never lets complexities get in the way of him championing one of his pet (usually quite left of center) causes.<br /><br />Just in case you weren't aware, I'm a pretty liberal person. But there are few things that annoy me than to hear other liberal people talk out their ass about something just because they thing a republican might like it.<br /><br />A great example of this was a time I was watching a presidential debate between Obama and McCain with a former roommate of mine. I said something about Sarah Palin and how she is a crazy bitch to which my roommate added something to the effect of, "Yeah, and McCain too. That guy has got it in for us."<br /><br />I wasn't about to get into a fight with my roommate over John McCain, but I asked him, "What are you talking about? Because John McCain isn't a terrible guy, or a terrible statesman. In fact, I think that if he had been elected in 2000 he would have a done an alright job." My roommate's response was to simply grunt and quietly concede, which I took to mean he was just talking out of his ass in the first place. Now, I did think McCain was guilty of letting his party push him around and use him as a bit of a puppet during the 08' election. But I'd hardly say "he has it in for us".<br /><br />It is these kind of no brain comments that Maher makes and encourages. Much like (total nut ball) Glen Beck he uses the extreme as an example of the center and he paints anyone on the other side of the fence from him on an issue as a radical moron. Way to encourage discussion, Bill.<br /><br />Bill is more sane and (intentionally) funnier than Beck. I'll give him that.<br /><br />Now as for Bill and his take on religion.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUv5bXkTIR8AjMqHnH3rMFTrRSfcR1yW_7YJypQvyNLAWLNRamuaH7sdYoaK8Td5JTUbGykXyKe_BaIVbrto_tEYgroyKAdbwebbmoxN2SE4AE4lRa_GroSPTb5-M4iqNQdVSdw-e2CqvL/s1600-h/art_maher-bill_092608.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 258px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUv5bXkTIR8AjMqHnH3rMFTrRSfcR1yW_7YJypQvyNLAWLNRamuaH7sdYoaK8Td5JTUbGykXyKe_BaIVbrto_tEYgroyKAdbwebbmoxN2SE4AE4lRa_GroSPTb5-M4iqNQdVSdw-e2CqvL/s320/art_maher-bill_092608.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5443868909625837074" /></a><br /><br />It doesn't really bother me that Maher is averse to organized religion. It does bother me is his relentless assault on organized religion despite the fact that he doesn't even make the slightest ever to understand them.<br /><br />I don't like NASCAR but I'm not going to go and make a movie about how much it sucks because have the integrity to admit I don't know much about it.<br /><br />To be honest, I haven't seen Maher's movie <span style="font-style:italic;">Religulous</span>, but I have seen quite a bit of his show and everything I've ever seen with him handling his opinion on religion he only seeks out the most ignorant of extremists and tries to use them as an example of all people of that religion (usually Christianity). Like Maher actually thinks all Christians are exactly like the white baptists in one Mississippi town.<br /><br />He cares so little about learning anything about these religions that once, while being interviewed by Mike Huckabee (who I am not a fan of, except for this one time), Maher was caught off balance by the clear responses Huckabee was able to produce to Maher's "stumper" questions on religion. Questions that any Christian with a decent understanding of their own religion should be able to answer.<br /><br />But probably the biggest issue I have with Maher's problem with religion is that he tries to blame it for every instance of violence around the world.<br /><br />Seriously Bill? It obviously is true that throughout the course of history many a person has suffered in the name of someone else's' religion. But do you honestly believe everyone would simply stop fighting and sing kumbaya if religion went away tomorrow?<br /><br />It is in human nature to be violent, distrusting, and controlling. As long as there is power to be had there will be violence on this earth, whether the excuse is religion or money or convenience or anything else.<br /><br />I'm not going to try to argue that many people don't practice perversions of their own religion. I'm not going to try and claim that religion isn't responsible for anything bad that every happens. But I can't condemn religion because when practiced purely it is the most good thing any person can do.<br /><br />Nearly all government is broken in some way in countries throughout the world, so why don't we jut throw away government? Because we need it. Because when you do it right it is a very very good thing.<br /><br />There are a lot of people out there that follow faith blindly, and don't understand their own religion. And that is said, but it is important to understand that those people are not a reason to condemn the ideology of faith. Because they are a perversion of that ideology not the realization.Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-78143758339243446362010-02-26T17:06:00.000-08:002010-02-28T09:12:01.827-08:00Why District 9 Blows**Spoilers** If you don't want the plot of this chunk of crap to become known to you, stop reading now (though I think I'd be doing you a favor). <br /><br />Originally I didn't want to write this post all in one posting. I was going to do it, one on wednesday - one on friday. But, I had to go to the store on wednesday and never got around to it then on Thursday I was going to take care of part 1 but, I don't know, Marathon Man was on tv and I got caught up watching old episodes of "Dragon Ball". So here it is.<br /><br />I also didn't want to call it "Why District 9 Blows", what I wanted to call it was: Why District 9 is a Big Steaming Pile of Shit. But I didn't think that would look good as a posting on Facebook. So here it is.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjszTpwNj_J1EJRqgpGKIgeNgW4ZjNrfmWqyivG4-2xF_yi48SI2-thRcucQ3i9TeNeNBXmwwqx_posCHFs2dvicWKrUv3Autsv1ab9WZmGB_GMoKnBo_3IgwnKASvlqu5zOcY6JNMhiuV2/s1600-h/alien-in-district-9.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 261px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjszTpwNj_J1EJRqgpGKIgeNgW4ZjNrfmWqyivG4-2xF_yi48SI2-thRcucQ3i9TeNeNBXmwwqx_posCHFs2dvicWKrUv3Autsv1ab9WZmGB_GMoKnBo_3IgwnKASvlqu5zOcY6JNMhiuV2/s320/alien-in-district-9.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442751474481714498" />Indeed.</a><br /><br />Maybe when I went to see <span style="font-style:italic;">District 9</span> (which here after will not be in italics) I had my expectations out of whack. From what I had gathered from the previews and buzz was that it was a gritty, documentary style, sci-fi flick about a bunch of aliens who crash on earth and begin to suffer from discrimination and persecution by us no good humans. It would be a realistic "what if?" type movie, that would make people look at ourselves and our own prejudices.<br /><br />But that's not what happened. At least, not for most of the movie. The beginning sort of starts out that way. The allegory is a little heavy handed and there is some unnecessary audience manipulation (alien abortions?) to try to unsettle you. But if that gets under your skin, just wait, you ain't seen nothin' yet.<br /><br />After around the half hour mark, the documentary style story line is completely thrown out and the movie quickly disintegrates into a frenetic, action movie shoot em' up, gore-fest that has more exploding bodies than I had drinks that time I ran through a screen door at that party (fuck doors!).<br /><br />Which brings me to my <span style="font-weight:bold;">first major problem</span> with this movie: <span style="font-weight:bold;">the senseless and gratuitous violence</span>.<br /><br />Now, I have nothing against a good, violent, shoot em' up movie. I love flicks like <span style="font-style:italic;">Aliens</span>, or <span style="font-style:italic;">The Matrix</span>. But with those movies, the violence makes sense in the world of the story. Its gotta happen, and you know it. With District 9, the violence comes out of nowhere. When you see that first body explode you go "Woah! I was not thinking that would happen." That's not necessarily a bad thing, unless it is overexploited. By the third or fourth body you are thinking "Okay, I get it, the alien guns make people explode like confetti from a cannon." Then it happens about ten more times.<br /><br />It isn't just exploding bodies. The scene where the gang is killed, for example, the Battlemech or whatever it is, kills all but the gang leader with the bullets from their own guns (a completely bloodless affair). Now, it could have done the same to the gang leader, but no, it shoots him in the head with something that looks like a pepsi can which then explodes bursting his head like a dart to a water balloon full of red kool-aid. Why? Did it know it was the leader and thus should die an extra gruesome death?<br /><br />Or even when the violence isn't that disturbing, I.E. the scene where they are torturing Wickus (D-9's "hero") with a cattle prod so he will use the guns. Up until the point when they want him to shoot the living alien I couldn't help but think "Wow, this just all seems really unnecessary." It just didn't make sense to me that in this world they couldn't explain to the Wickerman that they wanted him to try and use the guns and if he refused just poke him with the cattle prod once, or even just threaten him with it. I'm sure it would be more than enough to get him to comply fully. Its not like its hurting him any to just shoot a dead cow.<br /><br />The whole sequence was in there only to shock the audience and make the establishment out to be villains to the point of them being cartoon like. It didn't make any sense otherwise and doesn't do anything to enhance the story.<br /><br />Now on to <span style="font-weight:bold;">reason #2</span> why this movie blows: <span style="font-weight:bold;">The Hero Sucks!</span><br /><br />Now, when this movie starts you are supposed to think Wickus is a putz, a pushover, a sheep in a shepherd's clothing. Which is fine. Going by the story, you would expect that Witwicky, by starting to transform into one of the aliens, comes to understand their plight and realize that what everyone is trying to do to them and how they are being treated is wrong. He will come to look at them as intelligent and emotional beings.<br /><br />But no! The whole time he still acts like the selfish little pussy that he was at the beginning, only now he is having a really bad day.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2J6OuZkB4ODnz_i2VnVwbvmgphD6NtCj9-bG8JzHxNNb2mNkE6QX6-ifDJ9RPFVO_Cch07UtZ_rImC8cUpLSb1TxvbSkgttrgkU__kl_-QzUM2OdXFiQg_f25s-qB8MRB3s6N1HeDi5Gf/s1600-h/D9-wikus.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2J6OuZkB4ODnz_i2VnVwbvmgphD6NtCj9-bG8JzHxNNb2mNkE6QX6-ifDJ9RPFVO_Cch07UtZ_rImC8cUpLSb1TxvbSkgttrgkU__kl_-QzUM2OdXFiQg_f25s-qB8MRB3s6N1HeDi5Gf/s320/D9-wikus.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442745132702247858" />Hello, don't I look heroic? No? I don't act heroic either.</a><br /><br />Even when you think he is turning into a decent person/alien he does everything he can to still act like a prick. Case and point: the scene when they are about to escape in the alien craft underneath the shack. They are all set to go but there is one problem. The Alien is going to go home first, and that is going to take 10 years. But then he'll come back and help Wickus. Now understandably this upsets Wickus, but really, what was he expecting? This Alien to choose him, some guy who was a complete dick to him until today over his own race of people who have been getting shat on by the human race for years?<br /><br />So Wickus throws a hissy fit and the Alien feels his pain but he is going to leave anyway. So the only option Mr. Wickus Isa Dickus has is to consent, Its not like Wickus has a choice, he doesn't know how to fly the spaceship, and even if he did he couldn't figure out how to use the tools in the mother ship to cure him from his transformation. But that's not what he does. No, our fearless leader decides to hit the alien in the back with a 2x4 leaving him incapacitated. Then he tries to fly away in the spaceship himself only to promptly crash it after about 30 seconds (the most realistic thing to happen in the whole movie).<br /><br />Yes, at the end Wickleberry comes around and after some mutual heroics he lets the Alien go unmolested. But he makes this transformation only after he has thrown out all of the good will he has built up with the Alien (and the audience) and he flip flops so suddenly it is jarring and feels insincere.<br /><br />It is too bad that the trolls who wrote this egg don't properly understand the concept of a character arc. <br /><br />Its not necessary for all stories to have a classic arc where a character grows, but in a formulaic Sci-fi where lots of characters are aliens or cartoony villains it helps to have a charismatic character the audience relates to.<br /><br />Which leads me to the next <span style="font-weight:bold;">thing that sucks</span> about this movie: <span style="font-weight:bold;">Deus Ex Machina</span><br /><br />Way back in the day, when theatrical story telling was but a wee little babe, people used the Deus Ex Machina to wrap up their stories. It literally means "god from the machine" in latin. What would happen in their ancient tales is that a god would come down and resolve all of the conflict so everything could end amicably for the protagonists. In today's world of story telling it is used by writers who have written themselves into a corner and have no other way to get their protagonists out of an otherwise inescapable situation.<br /><br />District 9 uses the deus ex machina like it would be illegal to use it the next day. I saw the movie about six months ago and I can't recall every detail but off the top of my head I remember FOUR moments in the movie that fit this description.<br /><br />1. The scene where Wickus escapes the operating room.<br /><br />I didn't have a huge problem with this one. It was the first in the movie (I can usually stand one or two in action/sci-fi films), and it was only about 40 minutes in so he had to escape somehow. It was a little lazy but it did establish him as having enhanced strength thanks to the alien arm (though they don't use this at any other point in the film...hmm).<br /><br />2. The scene where Wickus and the Alien escape the lab with the bomb.<br /><br />This one was red flagged by my brother. In the midst of bodies exploding like fireworks on the Fourth of July Wickus' Alien buddy just happens to see all of the necessary materials lying around to make an alien bomb so they can escape an otherwise hopeless situation. How convenient. This wouldn't be so bad, if the writers or director took the time to show them working out the problem and putting together the bomb. But no, they simply say "We can't escape!" then immediately they are like, "Oh we'll build a bomb... we escaped!" LAZY.<br /><br />3. The scene where Wickus hits the Alien with the 2x4.<br /><br />While this doesn't solve any problems it certainly comes out of nowhere and makes absolutely no sense. The thing that I really hate about this moment (other than what was said before about Wickus) is that it serves no purpose to the story whatsoever. The ending is exactly the same as it would have been had this never happened (save for a few less exploding bodies). As far as I can tell this moment in the movie solely exists to make it twenty minutes longer so they can jam in one or two more action sequences. Why!?<br /><br />4. Finally, the scene where Wickus hops in his little robot and kills the thugs.<br /><br />It is a common tale in this movie by the time this happens: Wickus is about to die, he has no hope of escape. Completely doomed. Oh wait, that Gundam just turned on at the exact time Wickus was going to be killed, and it killed all of the thugs. Great! That was easy. It wasn't even like anyone had to do anything or even think about it, like a god just intervened and saved Wickus' ass... again.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQYY7Fpm2R0nwluejJaPuV6C4iVgRFz-y2EbpvRG1aVTt9bW-zoeZAu5mDrkCWGMG4J6jQ71SwF8Pa_eI0a5vZenXAqtGuEK5-6Lc9fGHgTT8vz4jtuCXHMRG79K-bJqIw1CsNc6jTlyha/s1600-h/peter_jackson1248147899.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 251px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQYY7Fpm2R0nwluejJaPuV6C4iVgRFz-y2EbpvRG1aVTt9bW-zoeZAu5mDrkCWGMG4J6jQ71SwF8Pa_eI0a5vZenXAqtGuEK5-6Lc9fGHgTT8vz4jtuCXHMRG79K-bJqIw1CsNc6jTlyha/s320/peter_jackson1248147899.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442750212463122754" />"What's that Mr. MacLean? I'm sorry I can't hear you over all the Oscars. Suck it."</a><br /><br />So yeah. I don't like this movie. When I first saw it I didn't feel this strongly about it. It was more of just an unsettled feeling like I wasn't sure what happened but I knew it wasn't awesome. Then the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much of a let down it really was.<br /><br />There are other minor things I didn't like about it, Peter Jackson hype for example. Seriously, you take the LOTR trilogy off this guy's resume and suddenly it looks a lot less impressive (King Kong, Lovely Bones, The Frighteners).<br /><br />The special effects aren't very good. Which wouldn't have mattered had they cared even a little bit about making a good story. But now, I can't even recommend people renting it because the effects will look even worse on a small screen.<br /><br />I know I'm in the strong minority when it comes to this movie, and I've accepted that some people are just going to like it. But that doesn't mean I have to, and I maintain that given the chance, I can turn anyone against this film. Just give me the chance. Please!Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-82133868824405975592010-02-22T18:35:00.000-08:002010-02-22T19:17:11.688-08:00Oscar Week, "Hi my name is Kristen Stewart. I wish I was a boy."Hey it's Oscar week. No other time of year do you see better montages of movies than at the Academy Awards.<br /><br />I have seen very few of the TEN movies nominated for best picture this year, and I haven't seen any of the ones favored to win (<span style="font-style:italic;">Up in the Air</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">Avatar</span>, and <span style="font-style:italic;">The Hurt Locker</span>). In fact, the only two I have seen, <span style="font-style:italic;">Inglorious Basterds</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">District 9</span>, I didn't particularly like that much.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Basterds</span> was alright. The acting in it is mostly good and there is some great Tarantino dialogue. But I felt that it was a little slow and had a very uneven mood. It felt to me like Tarantino didn't know if he wanted to make an action, black comedy, drama, or suspense film. So what we ended up getting was a muddled movie that wasn't really a clear anything.<br /><br />Then there is <span style="font-style:italic;">District 9</span>. I'm not going to go into the details (I'll save that for Wednesday) but lets just say I've seen better movies.<br /><br />Now on to something else that has been bothering me.<br /><br />Kristen Stewart. What the hell is her problem?<br /><br />What are you doing here? <a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3829960448/nm0829576">Are you trying to look like a 14 year old boy?</a> If so, succeeding admirably.<br /><br />Alright, I get it. You want to be punk rock. You're an emo chick. But there are plenty of chicks out there that still manage to look hot while brooding.<br /><br />I know you can do it. I've seened it!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVQluyTlRc1VdIpKl72UODesrogIiTTNqUV5JkYqbDBZBI4rxIAv-olvRcyRemfc3-KufQT6iXEQBzOMwvyKCuYfEv3cEe_zg_Uyv3vWzcjrPQtUClr4eZl0lQRohlLqFQ8aXm36Vll66Y/s1600-h/kristen-stewart-20081029-467444.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVQluyTlRc1VdIpKl72UODesrogIiTTNqUV5JkYqbDBZBI4rxIAv-olvRcyRemfc3-KufQT6iXEQBzOMwvyKCuYfEv3cEe_zg_Uyv3vWzcjrPQtUClr4eZl0lQRohlLqFQ8aXm36Vll66Y/s320/kristen-stewart-20081029-467444.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441271152387326530" />See!</a>Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-77531102292158970092010-02-19T09:24:00.000-08:002010-02-19T21:26:55.294-08:00The Apocalypse is Coming AND No One Likes Me!Performed at the Eastville Comedy Club last night, and well, it didn't go so well. I kind of bombed.<br /><br />Now bombing isn't fun but it would have been okay if I hadn't have gone home and read the news. <br /><br />Let me tell you, there is no faster way to feel that society is doomed than if you go on CNN.com and read all of the hateful ignorant shit that people post on the comment sections of virtually any article. Any article, it can be something like "Man saves basket of kittens from fire" and people will post shit like, "He should've let those kittens burn, along with the Jews" and then it will have twenty "I like this comment" checked off! Crazy, crazy, crazies out there.<br /><br />And of course, yesterday was an extra special day for all those crazies out there because that nut-ball decided he was sick of the government stealing all his money and he flew his <span style="font-style:italic;">private</span> plane into an office building.<br /><br />And so now, all of this guy's tea bagging buddies are all over the inter-webs celebrating what he did!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0ExOQyp1AeECGidC9FZ4xar2ejcRr_n3xJEHsgZLm53_s8caohCiAnqcys1LMHIhD1iOR3t6l_WsHgSKUJkQrNE6Z5xXKqdS2DsilUo5eCXPdEpb60F_1F-PV7dctuNg1NV2X1-7x-8iv/s1600-h/joseph-andrew-stack-facebook.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 255px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0ExOQyp1AeECGidC9FZ4xar2ejcRr_n3xJEHsgZLm53_s8caohCiAnqcys1LMHIhD1iOR3t6l_WsHgSKUJkQrNE6Z5xXKqdS2DsilUo5eCXPdEpb60F_1F-PV7dctuNg1NV2X1-7x-8iv/s320/joseph-andrew-stack-facebook.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5440163733298063666" />Crazy people banding together, making it easy for the FBI to get them all on the watch list</a><br /><br />So that sort of pushed me over the edge into a miserable depression. So the world is going to end and no one like me because I suck at stand-up, that's just great!<br /><br />These Tea Baggers are unbelievable to me. Its funny how they think they know what is best for America when they hate most of the other people who live here.<br /><br /><br />Many people don't really understand just what it is to be a stand-up comic. <br /><br />There's no worse feeling in the world than being on stage and you know things aren't going well and you can just feel the awkwardness in the room. You can see the look on everyone's face. But that reason is the same reason why everyone does this. <br /><br />People who don't do stand up and some people who do think "oh its so selfless, spreading joy and laughter around the world." What a load of bullshit. We do this because when you do it right, it feels awesome. It's completely selfish. Its great that everyone's laughing and all, but you know what's really great? Me! Because I'm the reason they're laughing. I'm so clever and funny that this guy over here had the worst day of his life and he's still laughing! I am a God on this stage! That's the real reason to do stand up comedy.<br /><br />______________________________<br /><br />I just performed at the Comedy Corner in the village tonight. Much better show. I'm on top of the world once again baby!Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-12678189607356121952010-02-17T14:25:00.000-08:002010-02-17T15:43:34.730-08:00Hey It's the Winter Olymp...ah I Already Don't Care.So it's the Olympics, hold on don't faint from excitement just yet, it's the <span style="font-style:italic;">Winter</span> Olympics!<br /><br />That time of year when we all gather 'round the hearth and debate what best describes curling. Is it horse shoes meets shuffle board? Bocce with some lawn darts mixed in? Or maybe the combination of bocce-lawn darts-and marbles? Tough call.<br /><br />In a related story: I had no idea Rascal Flatts was a group made up of a bunch of fat middle aged guys. I always just assumed because all of their fans were women and gay men and because they're music sucked that they were young good looking guys. Well, you know what they say about people who make assumptions...<br /><br />Also, and completely unrelated, Rage Against the Machine is playing on my computer right now. I definitely like some of their songs, but I don't know if I would go as far to say they are a "good" band. They have a pretty strong case of the AC/DC "All our songs sound exactly the same" Disease and I find most of the "political" statements in their songs to be mostly devoid of constructive solutions and bordering on anarchism (which I tend to not support). But then they have some very rocking songs, specifically most of the songs on their first album.<br /><br />So I pose the questions: Are a few very solid songs enough to raise a band above the rest of their musical mediocrity? And also, what is curling to you? Besides the #1 reason no one is watching the USA network this week.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://ispynyc.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/400_rascalflatts_080604_cgallay_81144290.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://ispynyc.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/400_rascalflatts_080604_cgallay_81144290.jpg" border="0" alt="" />Oh wait, the one guy wears his hair like The Situation, I see the appeal now.</a>Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-60819369722824105032010-02-15T13:47:00.000-08:002010-02-16T07:44:30.100-08:00What Am I Gonna Do with My Life?So now entering day number 182 of unemployment. Starting to really where the hell I'm going to be able to actually find some work.<br /><br />Very good chance I'll be a barista by the end of the month, if anything at all. But I was just given the suggestion of trying my hand as a tutor for some of the wealthier children in the city. Now, ostensibly this idea doesn't seem that crazy. I have several friends who have or currently work as substitute teachers and that's a lot like tutoring...right? But when I think about it, the problems pile up hard and fast:<br /><br />1. While Providence College has a decent reputation in the academic world (I could talk for seconds about all the job offers I've gotten for calling myself a PC alum) I'm not entirely sure I have the credentials to get all these Richie Rich parents lining up around the block for my services.<br /><br />2. I am pretty sure I could be a great teacher IF I could make up the curriculum. I'm not so sure I would be the best proofreader in the world for a high school paper in which grammar is more important than the actual content (Hello, Mrs. Cole!); although, I do know how to properly use a semicolon.<br /><br />2a. I really don't know what areas of study I could be of real significant use. I would probably do well with creative classes: writing, poetry, short stories, anything with theater (except costume design) but how often do you really see middle and high schoolers taking these kind of courses for credit (much less getting tutored for them)? I could probably do alright with basic piano and guitar, maybe even some music theory but my ability to translate sheet music to guitar and piano is pretty rusty.<br /><br />I'd like to take a moment to congratulate anyone who is still reading this at this point. You made it!<br /><br />On a completely different note: I'm going to try and step up the comedy performances this week, with two-three open mics and a show at Bar 4 on Sunday. I've had the nasty habit of flaking out on open-mics in the past, we'll see if I can man up this time.<br /><br />Who knows, maybe if I'm lucky one day I can be like this guy:<br /><br /><object width="576" height="388"><param name="movie" value="http://www.ucbcomedy.com/videos/embed/44da5e02842b8e18894613f62c9c4625"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.ucbcomedy.com/videos/embed/44da5e02842b8e18894613f62c9c4625" width="576" height="388" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object>Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-77912156495824230892010-02-11T22:11:00.000-08:002010-02-11T22:22:42.559-08:00A Little Late: Grammy Thoughts<span style="font-style:italic;">August and Everything After</span> was a huge album for the band Counting Crows from way back in 1993. If featured several songs that you'd still hear on the radio today. It was nominated for zero Grammys.<br /><br />So the Grammys were two weeks ago. I have one question? <span style="font-weight:bold;">When did winning a Grammy become talent optional</span>? It seems more and more award shows these days are throwing all of their credibility to the wayside just to try and make a few extra bucks for the industries they recognize (I’m talking to you Oscars, 10 best picture noms?).<br /><br />Taylor Swift is cute and all, and she’s not devoid of all musical talent but album of the year? She has a less than fantastic voice and as for her songwriting; since when did cutesy pop become the forefront of quality music? <br /><br />I was never a fan of the of the Backstreet Boys or N*sync but those guys were at actually talented as far as being able to sing and they never won a single Grammy between them (Not that they should have, that's the point). <br /><br />I can’t think of a single thing the Jonas Brothers do that warrants a Grammy nom (unless “Band most capable of making tweens scream hysterically” is a new category I’m unaware of).<br /><br />I don’t know, maybe I’m just showing my age (all of twenty-three years!), maybe I didn’t notice before and the Grammys have always pandered to the listening preferences of middle schools across the country. But now that I do notice I certainly don’t like it.<br /><br />I refuse to believe that these are the best and brightest of music today. I hope this doesn’t discourage all of those people out there who are actually trying to use music to create something new and exciting that people can hear and say “wow”. Of course, those people aren’t doing it for the awards anyway. <br /><br />Still, some recognition would be nice, and deserved. Shove it Grammy.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/HvyoM-RuLgo&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/HvyoM-RuLgo&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />This is from M. Ward's album "Hold Time" released last year. Zero nominationsKevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-43902501350990458422010-02-08T16:21:00.000-08:002010-02-08T18:13:24.074-08:00Facebook Doppelganger Week: An Interesting Social Experiment in Vanity<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgum5NnjmRueBchaG3fqxw5yq1O-tD2oBRBmeJ9oZgo4OhO20R6LnLgVUVyRaqFx1v-J-RKQqeK8PX44Vh32le2K5Ab_8NBvBTYo5uCBf3P_UnN0xVp3tMM488ZL8BU_YX__xuG7aXaPrMb/s1600-h/n17600336_31181542_7222.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 306px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgum5NnjmRueBchaG3fqxw5yq1O-tD2oBRBmeJ9oZgo4OhO20R6LnLgVUVyRaqFx1v-J-RKQqeK8PX44Vh32le2K5Ab_8NBvBTYo5uCBf3P_UnN0xVp3tMM488ZL8BU_YX__xuG7aXaPrMb/s320/n17600336_31181542_7222.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436033005654061266" /></a><br />Interesting week it was on Facebook. The first ever Doppelganger week where people replace their profile pics with pictures of celebrities that they look like, or rather, wish they looked like.<br /> <br />Doppelganger week showcased a level of mass delusional behavior that would make Snookie say, “Aw, shit no bitch!”<br /> <br />It was really interesting, and useful in a way, to see what my facebook friends (and even a few of my actual friends) see when they gaze into the looking glass. Some were insightful, some clever, some hideous, and some I simply cannot go without acknowledging here. (names are altered to shelter these sensitive souls)<br /><br /> Sorry, Rosalita, you don’t look like Kim Kardashian. Keep dreaming though! John, you don’t look anything like a young William Shatner or James T. Kirk, but thanks for ruining Star Trek for me! Pocahontas? WTF?<br /><br /> There were a few pics that I did find well done, however. One was my friend Matt, who seamlessly superimposed his head on the body of an astronaut and claimed it was his doppelganger “World Famous Astronaut Curtis Hansel” (who I’m 88% sure doesn’t exist). And, also, I guess I should say that one person who did compare themselves to a ridiculously hot person and got it right was my friend, Allie. Yes, you do have long blond hair, you’re thin, are tall for a girl, have big boobs, and are generally pretty hot, so yeah, I guess you do look kind of like Jessica Simpson.Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-9445888636930834712009-12-09T09:40:00.000-08:002009-12-09T10:07:29.434-08:00Stand-Up Show recapSo last night my friend Eli and I went and performed a little stand-up at a bar near where we live called Shea's. It was quite possibly the most confusing emotional experience of my life. Allow me to explain.<br /><br />When you do stand-up (or at least I do) the adrenaline really kicks in. For about 2 hours afterwards you are really wired, and depending on if you killed or got killed you are either really high or very low.<br /><br />So last night I performed and I did a really great job, I thought. But the rest of the night before then had been such a massive disappointment that it ruined the night for me. I killed and I felt like crap afterwards.<br /><br />First off the MC was a dick to me the whole night for no reason. I showed up an hour before the thing started and even though I was the first comic there the MC seemed to arbitrarily pick the order of who went (even though he clearly wanted to get some people up in the first hour) and I ended up going 2nd to last over two hours after the show started.<br /><br />But that wouldn't have been so bad, if virtually everyone before me didn't completely suck.<br /><br />Of the 14 or so acts before me there were basically two types of bad: People who thought they were funny and people who didn't know what being funny was.<br /><br />The audience was alright. Not great but it was a very big room and you have to expect that a room that size not everyone is going to pay attention to you. There were probably about 50 people actively listening at the start of it. <br /><br />But nearly every guy who went up there complained about the crappy, disinterested crowd (and interestingly, not about how they were completely unfunny comics).<br /><br />My buddy Eli (one of the better acts) who had no idea what he was doing had this attitude like "Please bare with me, I have no idea what I'm doing" and he had good energy so even if you didn't think he was being very funny he was at least endearing.<br /><br />Most everyone else was somewhere in the spectrum of Awkward-Annoying-Boring.<br /><br />Out of everyone I could have maybe seen 2 or 3 of them being funnier to the point where you thought they were pretty good if they had a better venue.<br /><br />Sex jokes were the soup du jour and no matter how many one comic told, the next one would make twice as many like none had been told all night.<br /><br />The MC (other than being a jerk) was terrible. He did about 5 minutes of borderline funny material when he first got up there (what an MC is supposed to do). Then standard procedure is the MC gets up between each act tells a joke and then the next guy goes. <br /><br />But not this MC. <br /><br />He got up there and went for 5 minutes of his own after almost every guy. Even long after he had run out of material he went up there and just talked and insulted the audience for a few minutes.<br /><br />But the worst guy of the night was without question the guy who went on right before me. <br /><br />Imagine the most boring, awkward, loser ever. And then sit and watch him talk for 15 minutes at 11PM in a dark room after you've had 5 beers. Asleep yet? The guy got up there and basically told completely unamusing stories to his girlfriend about the Twilight movies and food. At least his girlfriend was laughing, no one else was.<br /><br />So then I went up there, performed to the 10 people that were still there at that point, and did a pretty good job, a great job if you consider what was up there before me. But because everyone else had sucked so bad leading up to then I didn't even get to enjoy it. Bummer of a night.<br /><br />A video of the act may be coming soon.Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-81330637008529231502009-12-07T10:06:00.000-08:002009-12-07T10:09:14.491-08:00Who Sent You!?Ah, hello there. If you clicked on here from the Primer link, then this post is going to be a bit of a let down.<br /><br /><br />Been really busy lately, but an actual post is in the works so come back in a few days.<br /><br />Until then, if you haven't seen my new Primer article the link is below (and even if you have, why don't you just click the link anyway, its not like you have anything important to do if you're here).<br /><br /><a href="http://www.primermagazine.com/2009/live/the-coolest-men-of-the-20th-century">Link Up Here.</a>Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-7072609791255837562009-11-29T18:15:00.000-08:002009-11-29T18:19:40.991-08:00Stuff-About ArticleAy yi yi, It has been a while. Don't get too excited, not much else is coming in this post.<br /><br />Just putting up a link to a little thing I wrote recently for my friend's alarmingly successful dooky little site.<br /><br />Enjoy! Or don't, whatever. Just click the link.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.stuff-about.com/2009/11/diary-of-concerned-citizen-lesbos.html">link-up here</a>Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-38390116454774415392009-07-02T19:28:00.000-07:002009-09-06T09:05:37.237-07:00An Epic BeginningI love to write. It is what I am pretty sure I want to do with the rest of my life (that is, if I could only do one thing). Yet every time I try to sit down and start to write on this ugly little thing I call a blog I find myself with nothing to say, nothing to write, and entirely uninterested in trying to think of anything. In the time that is has taken me to write just this small paragraph I have already twice looked at my news feed on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/">facebook</a> and turned my chair around to check the Yankee game. (Twice now)<br /><br />Now, to some people, a grand opening to a blog wouldn't really matter. Particular in the case of my blog since this is actually close to the tenth posting. But as I stated in what I believe was my previous post, this would not be just some simple blog. This was to be a great story. A classic tale of life told through the eyes of myself that millions would be able to relate to, yet, never fully realize. (Which of course all would have been just a cog in the magic of the machine).<br /><br />I just absent-mindedly checked my email and opened a link to <a href="http://www.espn.com/">ESPN</a>, but I haven't looked at it yet.<br /><br />As you can imagine, just any opening would not do. Weeks went by and I still had nothing to write for this wretched little monster, and the saddest part was: I really didn't care that much. It was a mild source of frustration and guilt but it stayed mainly in the back of my mind always losing out to short term pleasures and distractions.<br /><br />I have had a lot of distractions over the past few weeks. A vacation trip with rarely seen friends. An ongoing apartment search. A sibling's wedding. The usual work frustration, with added pains of talk of promotion and raises.<br /><br />But a time came early on today when I found myself short on excuses and oddly higher on motivation than normal. The vacation had come and gone. The wedding plans were all squared. The work frustration still existed but had subsided. And the most daunting of rain clouds over my life, my desperate search to find an apartment and find someone to take the one I was vacating seemed to be settled.<br /><br />It was a funny little coincidence involving the departure of one of my current roommates coinciding with the reaching out of a former roommate prospect within 24 hours that left me feeling relaxed in a way I haven't felt in weeks. It finally felt like I had accomplished something and could just sit and take it easy.<br /><br />And that is when I got the idea to write this first post of my blog.<br /><br />Nothing epic, nothing grand. Just honest and anti-climactic.<br /><br />I've always loved a good sarcastic anti-climax.<br /><br />Of course, none of the ease of my morning would even last to dinner. My frustration with my work could soon be coming to a head. And of course complications involving my former roommate prospect has left me more or less where I started both in psyhical and mental state.<br /><br />So it may be another few weeks before I really get into the juice that fuels my life. Something that I have long been wanting to shout from the mountain tops is my loathing for the Ignorant Liberal's champion: Bill Maher. But not yet.<br /><br />No, for now, this will sustain me. I'll be content with this as my great entrance into the bloggosphere as I sit here in the dark of my soon-to-be former bedroom, picking dead skin off my sunburns, listening to nostalgic movie themes.<br /><br /><br />Clip O' the Post<br /><br /><object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DoO_8Di7Ta4&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DoO_8Di7Ta4&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-39140703940203478872009-06-07T18:45:00.000-07:002009-06-07T19:08:07.348-07:00Drag Me to Hell? No Thank you.So in my last post I implored my ZERO readers out there to go out and check out Sam Raimi's new movie, "Drag Me To Hell".<br /><br /><object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/KRi1A7-4--M&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/KRi1A7-4--M&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object><br /><br />Well, I just saw it.<br /><br />I guess it is better than your average PG-13 horror flick and is worth renting or watching if you ever see it on HBO but that is about all I can recommend.<br /><br />The opening was pretty strong but after the first act the rest of the movie is pretty blase more or less with the exception of a few strong moments.<br /><br />The real bummer was the ending. Others have complained about it already all over the web. They say it is predictable and not how they wanted it to end. Well, I'm not really complaining about that exactly. I just thought it was boring and a little lazy.<br /><br />**Spoiler Alert**<br />Now if you want to see this movie and don't want to know the end I suggest you stop reading here. But I was thinking about what would have made a better ending and I came up with this:<br /><br />Christine actually does stuff the envelope with the button in it in Ganush's mouth. We assume that she is successful in passing off the curse. Then on the final scene on the train platform Clay pulls out his papers and Christine sees the envelope. She freaks out as she does in the film (saying things like , "no, it's not possible" etc.) and she falls on the train platform. Clay drops his papers and the envelope falls on the ground. Clay reaches for her but it is too late, Christine gets struck by the train and killed. Just as it ends, a gust of wind flips over the envelope and the coin falls out, revealing that it was in fact just a coin in the envelope and not the button.<br /><br />I told this ending to my friends who also saw it and they liked it better as well.<br /><br />I like it better because, for one, Ganush gets sent to hell and it is good to see the bitch go down. and two, it has a nice "twisted fate" to it. Christine escapes hell by the demon but is killed anyway because she is so haunted by the experience.<br /><br />It reminds me of the ending of Vertigo. Great ending that movie has. I remember the first time I saw Vertigo I was told going in that the girl falls from the Bell Tower. And I was watching it and thinking, "well it is almost over, I guess it isn't going to....OH Shit!" And then the movie ends. Hitchcock, he got you right as you were at the door. Great stuff.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ryUL2csu_ns&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ryUL2csu_ns&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-33754438763497830692009-05-31T18:58:00.000-07:002009-05-31T19:18:14.015-07:00Salvation!Back from the dead and does it feel good to be back. I've finally finished my "Subways" article and now I can get on with the rest of my creative life.<br /><br />So much to say and so little time. I really feel like from this post forward my blog will take a new shape and get a sense of direction that it never had before. From now on I'm not simply going to ramble about nonsense, I am going to ramble about things important in my life that at least make some sense.<br /><br />I'm not going to do it all here and now. I'm going to put it off just a little longer, as I want to do with most things in my life. <br /><br />But there will be much to talk about. Bill <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Maher</span> and other things that generally frustrate me to the point of passing out, my job and search for a new one, my apartment and transition to a new one, adventures out into society, sports, music, movies, and of course, the love of my life: Catalina.<br /><br />Right now, what is really upsetting me is this magazine article's completion. It is done but now the editor wants to remove what is ultimately my favorite segment of the article! A great piece about the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Masstransiscope</span> of the Brooklyn underground. I think I can get him to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">at least</span> accept an <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">abbreviated</span> acknowledgment of it.<br /><br />More on this in the future. But until next time, enjoy this clip. And see "Drag Me to Hell!"<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PzXk3nfEdMY&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PzXk3nfEdMY&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-10588546800713660092009-05-13T11:54:00.000-07:002009-05-13T11:58:09.888-07:00New ArticleLink above and below. New Bleacher Report article. It's funny, trust me.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.bleacherreport.com/articles/173929-how-to-be-cool-a-letter-to-alex-rodriguez">How to Be Cool</a>Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-76615144160117819702009-04-27T19:21:00.000-07:002009-04-27T19:24:10.017-07:00On A Mission From GodAh Blues Brothers. One of the most important movies of my adolecense.<br /><br />I'm only writing to tell all of my imaginary readers, and of course my one actual reader, but mostly my imaginary readers- I will not be making anymore posts until I have finished writing my next magazine article from Primer. I can't seem to finish it, its all a mess, and it is driving me crazy.<br /><br />-Kevin H. MacLeanKevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-11166555947296307722009-04-21T20:28:00.001-07:002009-04-21T21:12:07.126-07:00Circle-Circle, Dot-DotSo apparently, I have cooties.<br /><br />Or some form of bizarre sickness that keeps people from wanting to hang out with me. I had 3 count em' THREE extra Yankee tickets to tonight's game that I was willing to give away for free and yet I could not get anyone I asked to take them. I must of asked at least 16 people if they could they were...<br />Nathaniel - working/school<br />Leah - work too early the next morning<br />T. - working<br />Nikki - working<br />Mike - working<br />Kirsten - already doing something<br />Tommy - too much homework<br />Shane - never called me back<br />Vince - too tired (seriously!?)<br />Josh - working<br />Jr. - stuck at school<br />Brad - also, stuck at school<br />A girl named Lia who I haven't even spoken to in almost a year - dance class<br />Upstairs roommate - reason unknown<br />Upstairs roommate - working<br />Downstairs roommate - reason unknown<br /><br />And I know I'm forgetting about someone! Well, anyway, the game was good but it was pretty cold so I spent almost half of it inside (which wasn't much warmer). I stayed to the end and on the way home I was freaking out between 125th and 59th street on the D train.<br /><br />Just before the D train I was on passed 86th St. it passed the B train. I thought to myself seeing thing "oh good, I can switch to the B at 59th st. and take it home without having to wait long or walk as far." But then, things took a grim turn.<br /><br />At around 72nd st. the D train slowed to a crawl, for probably about 90 seconds, but it felt like 98,586,209,012 seconds. As I hunched over nervously I saw the inevitable, the B train flew by. I thought, maybe now the train will speed up and the B will wait at 59th street for connection passengers. But the D train didn't speed up, it stopped completely.<br /><br />I was now quietly screaming inside my head. I muttered to myself under my breath and I thought about how stupid the MTA is for allowing a local to pass an express just before a common station.<br /><br />As the train pulled into 59th street, I was defeated. But then, a ray of hope. Actually more like an entire star; the B train was there waiting for me. And after a long string of bad luck in catching trains the last few days, I got one back.<br /><br /><br />Be Back Soon,<br /><br />Kevin H. MacLean<br /><br />P.S. I hate scalpers. They're dishonest.Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-57029332798600801722009-04-20T18:13:00.000-07:002009-04-20T18:52:39.090-07:00Be Well, John SpartanHaha, Demolition Man<br /><br />My bathroom smells like crap. Not like that kind of crap, exactly. The plumbing in my apartment backed up into the tub and sink and now the bathroom smells like clay pots and rusty iron. It looks like the only way to get it clean will be to do it myself, it would be nice if it ever occurred to them that they should occasionally clean something up too.<br /><br />This Demolition Man movie is ridiculously hilarious. Oh look, it is Dennis Leary playing himself cira 1993, how very original.<br /><br />I cannot believe I couldn't find anyone to take my extra yankees tix. I must of ask 10 people. I mean, what the hell? Free tickets people!<br /><br />Oh well, I guess I didn't really have much to say but I haven't written anything in a few days. I've been writing a lot for <a href="http://bleacherreport.com">Bleacher Report</a> at the moment. Trying to find the balance is tough, but I guess that's true with everything.<br /><br />-Kevin H MacLeanKevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-28122325660750344422009-04-17T09:55:00.000-07:002009-04-17T11:39:21.948-07:00The Worst Pizzas in America!As I sit in front of my computer, in front of my television, eating a peanut butter and apple sandwhich, drinking a non-alcoholic concoction called a "rootbeer sweetie" I heard a commercial for <a href="http://www.papajohns.com/index.shtm">Papa John's</a> pizza advertising their new "XL X-treme" pizza. They proudly proclaimed that it had "Nearly 1 lb. of cheese!" Wow, so who exactly does that sound appetizing to, cholester-holics?<br /><br />I personally, loathe Papa John's pizza. I think it is sloppily made and tastes like it was taken out of a freezer. But, that commercial made me wonder, what other pizza chains do I hate...<br /><br />Rocco's Pizza in Providence Rhode Island.<br />Hate is a strong word here. Let me just say that while I was in college, everyone always talked about Rocco's like it was God's gift to pizza. I thought it was alright, but overpriced and the crust was really tough and not fun to eat. I always liked that place next to Li Li Wok, no one else ever wanted to go there though, just because someone was murdered there a few years earlier. What a bunch of racists.<br /><br />Ronzio's Pizza in Providence Rhode Island.<br />Everyone knows that Ronzio's sucks. But it is cheap so there you go.<br /><br />Pronto Pizza in Mid-Town Manhattan.<br />Not terrible by Mid-Town Pizza standards, but hardly a satisfying pizza. There are a few Pronto's but the one I'm referring to is across from Rockefeller Center on 48th. I actually was one of their most loyal patrons for while because their subpar pizza was still the best in the neighborhood but then they raised their prices so that a slice of cheese is 2.75! And this is during a recession. Never again will I eat there.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.papaginos.com/">Papa Gino's</a><br />I've must of eaten at Papa G's hundreds of times through the years. It was by far the most visited pizza place of my young childhood and my friends and I were some of the first regulars at the weekly "all you can eat" pizza night. But nothing lasts forever. It wasn't long before rowdy stupid highschool kids from neighboring a town (South Windsor) showed up and started harassing families and so "All you can eat" ended. I wouldn't say Papa Gino's makes a terrible pie (as I would say of Papa John's) But I would probably rate it a B- at it's best. The whole selling point of Papa G's is that you can eat as much as you want for a flat rate, take that out of the equation and they're pretty blase.<br />Oh, and they don't deliver.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.littlecaesars.com/">Little Ceasar's</a><br />I actually don't think I've ever had Little Ceasar's pizza. Do they even exist anymore? What ever happened to those commercials with the little guy with the spear?<br /><br /><a href="http://www.pizzahut.com/">Pizza Hut</a><br />You know those obnoxious commercial's where Pizza Hut hires all those actors to pretend they are patrons in a fancy restaurant and they "unknowingly" consume Pizza Hut food thinking it is "authentic" Italian cuisine and they film the whole thing on hidden cameras? I hate those commercials. In fact, everyone I know hates those commercials. Pizza is medicore chain pizza, anyone who would mistake it for <span style="font-style: italic;">good</span> Italian cuisine is either being paid to do so, or an imbecile.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.dominos.com/home/index.jsp">Domino's</a><br />There are few edible things on this earth as disgusting as Domino's Pizza. The stuff tastes like air. If I'm going to eat a pizza, it is because simply consuming air is not enough to satisfy my hunger. I suspect the reason it tastes like crap is because it is given such a meager amount of sauce, but I make a point of eating so infrequently that I can't say for sure. All I know for certain is that it tastes bad and isn't worth the cardboard it is made out of.<br /><br /><br />Just for the record my favorite chain of pizza is <a href="http://www.peopleschoicepizza.com/">People's Choice</a>. Although, they are a little pricey.<br /><br />I'm gonna go now. I think I'll have to mute the Yankee Game, Michael Kay is talking about how he is capable of umpiring 3rd base in a Major League game. Michael, you're not even capable of doing your current job, why don't you work on getting that down first? Also in related news, all further sports related topics will be posted on my BleacherReport.com account, located <a href="http://bleacherreport.com/users/25536-Kevin-MacLean">Here</a>.Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-49450977148326654202009-04-15T08:14:00.001-07:002009-04-17T11:41:36.692-07:00Mr. Money Bags, You Can't Be Serious...I wasn't planning on posting anything until later today but I am so outraged by this that it simply could not wait.<br />Once again, the human race has demonstrated to me that they are irrecoverably stupid and continue to proudly hold there subjective preferences over common sense and justice. I am, of course, referring to the newest edition of the board game Monopoly: <a href="http://www.hasbro.com/games/kid-games/monopoly">International Monopoly</a>.<br />The people at Hasbro wanted to try and get people excited about their new board so in their infinite widsom they chose to have people vote to pick what cities would be featured. The more votes the further up they get.<br /><br />So what does the board look like? Well, all of the obvious choices for the most valuable spots (New York, London, Paris, Tokyo, Beijing) are all peppered around the middle of the board, only Paris being placed on the final straight away. Many of the most well known and most populous cities in the world arent' recognized: Los Angeles, Seoul, Prague, Madrid, Amsterdam, Dublin, Egypt, any city in Germany, any city in Russia, any city in India, any city at all from Central OR South America!<br /><br />But of course, these tiny, significant cities had to make room for mecca's of modern day civilization such as Kyiv, Vancouver, Toronto, Belgrade, and Gdynia. I've never even <span style="font-style: italic;">heard</span> of Gdynia. And what two mighty cities claimed the coveted dark blue spots you ask? Well Riga and Montreal, but of course! Now if you're like me, you are asking yourself, "Where the hell is Riga?" To answer your question it is in Latvia, or as no-one-in-the-whole-world-calls-it: "The Center of the Earth". If you're wondering where exactly Latvia is it is one of those three tiny countries right next to Russia (the other two are Estonia and Lithuania).<br /><br />Seriously, what was Hasbro thinking when they put this together? Never mind their exclusion of cities like Berlin, Moscow, and Mexico City. How can they have THREE cities from Canada of all places and not have a single city from the entire CONTINENT of South America? The common sense approach to this board would have been simply to designate each color to a continent and any continent with a large number of historical cities (such as Europe) would be given two colors. Even if they decided to go with the very flawed voting system they went with they should of at least had the sense to limit the number of cities from each country to one or reserved the right to put the cities in whatever order they saw fit. Doing that would have at least made it possible to put somewhere respectable onto the final straight away (the only city that belongs there currently is Paris).<br /><br />I have nothing personally against any of the places that did make it on the board and I also understand that it would have been impossible not to leave some great cities off the board but it is pretty hard to objectively defend a place like Capetown being given the final green and Montreal the most valuable spot on the board when somewhere like New York or London (two cities that virtually everyone in the world has at the very least heard of) are on red and cities like Rio De Janeiro and Mumbai (the largest city proper on earth) aren't even on the board!<br />Ah, humanity. I'm not surprised, but I'm still dissapointed.Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-90120627433605765812009-04-14T11:49:00.000-07:002009-04-17T11:41:51.248-07:00Ice Breakers: Part DuexI guess when I put up "Random thoughts and Ramblings" on the title of this blog I wasn't kidding. Not that I'm hugely unsatisfied with what has been posted thus far, but when your as opinionated as myself you like to try and say something just a little meaningful every once in a while. Over the next few weeks I'm going to make a much stronger effort to cover topics that I really have something to say about. Things that really grind my gears. Things like Bill Maher and public opinion on steroids. People's opinions about the economy and government. In general, just how much I can't stand the approximately 70% of the world's population that is stupid to the point where if someone they trusted told them the wrong thing they could be pretty dangerous.<br />I'll probably talk a lot about sports and a little about music. If I was talking about me from 4 years ago it would have been a lot more about music.<br /><br />I'll undoubtedly talk about how I should be doing lots of things like performing stand up comedy and going around asking/begging different people for internships and work. I'll piss and moan and ironically muse about my frustration of being a struggling human being in a competitive world.<br /><br />I'll probably talk about a lot of this over the next few days, maybe even some of it tonight. So if that stuff sounds like something that might interest you, maybe you should ask to see my pamphlet sometime. For right now I'm going to work on a magazine article for <a href="http://primermagazine.com/">Primer Magazine</a> about riding on the New York City Subway. Until then, I hope this can satisfy your unsatisfiable nature (the human nature, naturally).<br /><br />Be back soon,<br /><br />Kevin H. MacLeanKevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-41840224046637950182009-04-13T20:34:00.000-07:002009-04-17T11:42:02.533-07:00Das AutoI really don't have much to talk about at the moment (It is late at night and I'm very tired). I just felt I needed to put something up here because I haven't for a few days and I wanted to let my readers out there (all zero of you) know that I'm still alive and more posts will be coming over the next few days.<br /><br />All I have to say at the moment is that allergies are a bizratch and there is a bunch of clothes on my bed that may very well spend the night on the floor instead of folded in drawers. Also, I would like to make a brief correction. In my previous post entitled "Ice Breakers" I said that I love the junk food "Cheese Doodlez". This is in fact not true, what I meant to say was that a love the junk food "Cheez Doodles", I don't even know what "Cheese Doodlez" are.<br /><br />So that is all until tomorrow. Here is a funny car commericial from Europe my friend told me about (I guess they thought us Americans were too uptight to catch it on our TV sets, and they're absolutely right).<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Rn8TBAp96Mk&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Rn8TBAp96Mk&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848715725146735097.post-24032157625808287152009-04-08T16:35:00.000-07:002009-04-17T11:42:31.427-07:00Harness the Power of DinosaursWhen I was a kid I used to really like going to visit my cousin's on my mom's side of the family. Part of the reason was because most of my cousins on my mom's side are boys and relatively close in age to myself. And part of the reason was because one of my cousins had the coolest toys in the history of action figures. These toys were the perfect blend of a young American boy's favorite things. They were opitome of cool. They were Dino-Riders.<br /><br />For those who don't know, Dino-Riders was a short lived animated series about People and Aliens who used Dinosaurs like tanks and were always thinking on new and zany ways to try and best one another. But really, it was a show about the toys. The entire reason the show even came into existence was to promote the toys. And oh man were those toys cool. Even watching the videos of the episodes now on youtube I want to get me some of those toys.<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xsRanekyRuw&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xsRanekyRuw&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />I had the day off from work today. I haven't gotten anything useful done all day, unless you count this as being useful. Yankees are on right now and losing, again. Not worried about it, but it would be nice to see them do something positive. One of my favorite movies from my early adolescence is on right now: Jurassic Park.<br /><br />Jurassic Park may be the most quotable action adventure since the good Star Wars trilogy. Although he wasn't a star of the movie the best character is by far the Raptor dude, Muldoon. He totally makes up for the stupid old man running the park and his annoying little grand kids. No matter what is coming out of the guy's mouth the general message is always the same: "I am so totally awesome."<br />Who can forget classic lines like:<br />"They should all be destroyed."<br />or,<br />"I think this was Gennaro."<br />or,<br />"Clever Girl..."<br />or how about the all-time classic,<br />"Shoooot Heerr!"<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2a0K8haOV9w&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2a0K8haOV9w&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />And the part where he drives the jeep and escapes from the T-rex. He doesn't actually say anything but he makes this awesome face that is all like, "Suck it, Mr. T-Rex."<br />Its too bad he gets killed in the movie, but he survives in the book, so I think he comes out ahead.<br /><br />Well, I thought I had something else to write at least loosely related to this topic, but I guess I don't 'cause I can't remember anything. The credits are rolling on the movie now, so I guess it's time I say goodbye for the night. I used to love the music to this movie when I was a kid. Technically, the first music CD I ever owned was the score to Jurassic Park. The only thing I don't get is why is B.D. Wong's name so high up on the cast list? He is in the movie for like 2 minutes, has 5 lines, and is a totally insignificant character. Just one of life's great mysteries, I suppose.<br /><br />Be Back Soon,<br />Kevin H. MacLean<br /><br />P.S. I didn't want to put this up top before because I wanted to give Muldoon his due attention but this is my imitation of "Timmy" (A name I always thought sounded weak) from JP, "Oh look at me, I climbed all the way over a giant electric fence but instead of climbing down I'm gonna freak out like a little girl and just sit here while 60,000 volts of electricity jolt through my body. But don't worry, I'll fly off this fence in a perfectly choreographed fall and miraculously survive not only an electric shock 40 times what is considered a fatal amount but also a fall from about 25 feet with no serious injuries to speak of."<br />What a bizratch.Kevin H. MacLeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03391768198615806489noreply@blogger.com0