I love to write. It is what I am pretty sure I want to do with the rest of my life (that is, if I could only do one thing). Yet every time I try to sit down and start to write on this ugly little thing I call a blog I find myself with nothing to say, nothing to write, and entirely uninterested in trying to think of anything. In the time that is has taken me to write just this small paragraph I have already twice looked at my news feed on facebook and turned my chair around to check the Yankee game. (Twice now)
Now, to some people, a grand opening to a blog wouldn't really matter. Particular in the case of my blog since this is actually close to the tenth posting. But as I stated in what I believe was my previous post, this would not be just some simple blog. This was to be a great story. A classic tale of life told through the eyes of myself that millions would be able to relate to, yet, never fully realize. (Which of course all would have been just a cog in the magic of the machine).
I just absent-mindedly checked my email and opened a link to ESPN, but I haven't looked at it yet.
As you can imagine, just any opening would not do. Weeks went by and I still had nothing to write for this wretched little monster, and the saddest part was: I really didn't care that much. It was a mild source of frustration and guilt but it stayed mainly in the back of my mind always losing out to short term pleasures and distractions.
I have had a lot of distractions over the past few weeks. A vacation trip with rarely seen friends. An ongoing apartment search. A sibling's wedding. The usual work frustration, with added pains of talk of promotion and raises.
But a time came early on today when I found myself short on excuses and oddly higher on motivation than normal. The vacation had come and gone. The wedding plans were all squared. The work frustration still existed but had subsided. And the most daunting of rain clouds over my life, my desperate search to find an apartment and find someone to take the one I was vacating seemed to be settled.
It was a funny little coincidence involving the departure of one of my current roommates coinciding with the reaching out of a former roommate prospect within 24 hours that left me feeling relaxed in a way I haven't felt in weeks. It finally felt like I had accomplished something and could just sit and take it easy.
And that is when I got the idea to write this first post of my blog.
Nothing epic, nothing grand. Just honest and anti-climactic.
I've always loved a good sarcastic anti-climax.
Of course, none of the ease of my morning would even last to dinner. My frustration with my work could soon be coming to a head. And of course complications involving my former roommate prospect has left me more or less where I started both in psyhical and mental state.
So it may be another few weeks before I really get into the juice that fuels my life. Something that I have long been wanting to shout from the mountain tops is my loathing for the Ignorant Liberal's champion: Bill Maher. But not yet.
No, for now, this will sustain me. I'll be content with this as my great entrance into the bloggosphere as I sit here in the dark of my soon-to-be former bedroom, picking dead skin off my sunburns, listening to nostalgic movie themes.
Clip O' the Post
How Things Work
1 year ago