The Apocalypse is Coming AND No One Likes Me!

Performed at the Eastville Comedy Club last night, and well, it didn't go so well. I kind of bombed.

Now bombing isn't fun but it would have been okay if I hadn't have gone home and read the news.

Let me tell you, there is no faster way to feel that society is doomed than if you go on CNN.com and read all of the hateful ignorant shit that people post on the comment sections of virtually any article. Any article, it can be something like "Man saves basket of kittens from fire" and people will post shit like, "He should've let those kittens burn, along with the Jews" and then it will have twenty "I like this comment" checked off! Crazy, crazy, crazies out there.

And of course, yesterday was an extra special day for all those crazies out there because that nut-ball decided he was sick of the government stealing all his money and he flew his private plane into an office building.

And so now, all of this guy's tea bagging buddies are all over the inter-webs celebrating what he did!

Crazy people banding together, making it easy for the FBI to get them all on the watch list

So that sort of pushed me over the edge into a miserable depression. So the world is going to end and no one like me because I suck at stand-up, that's just great!

These Tea Baggers are unbelievable to me. Its funny how they think they know what is best for America when they hate most of the other people who live here.


Many people don't really understand just what it is to be a stand-up comic.

There's no worse feeling in the world than being on stage and you know things aren't going well and you can just feel the awkwardness in the room. You can see the look on everyone's face. But that reason is the same reason why everyone does this.

People who don't do stand up and some people who do think "oh its so selfless, spreading joy and laughter around the world." What a load of bullshit. We do this because when you do it right, it feels awesome. It's completely selfish. Its great that everyone's laughing and all, but you know what's really great? Me! Because I'm the reason they're laughing. I'm so clever and funny that this guy over here had the worst day of his life and he's still laughing! I am a God on this stage! That's the real reason to do stand up comedy.

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I just performed at the Comedy Corner in the village tonight. Much better show. I'm on top of the world once again baby!